I must stress from the very start that it isn’t really very important that one brings gifts and things to a patient when one visits them in hospital. What is crucial for a patient who is stuck in a psyche ward all day long is the sight of a friendly face, the presence of someone they care about right there with them. It truly means the world to a patient when someone takes an hour or so out of their day to share a bit of their time with them because this numbs away some of the tedium of the psyche ward. But, let me also add it is nice to get an occasional treat or token of appreciation/affection. Now, that gift could be something as simple as a homemade card or as fancy as a bouquet of flowers; it is all up to the person doing the giving. However, I must stress, don’t let this keep you from visiting; because you don’t have to bring a gift every time you visit.

First Some Does And Don’ts:

· Remember that the patient will only have a limited amount of personal space allotted to them in their room, so try to make your gifts relatively compact and easy to store.

· If you bring anything for a patient in a plastic bag of any kind be prepared to leave it at the nurses desk, plastic bags are not allowed on the ward itself.

· I suggest if you are bringing flowers to a patient on a psyche ward make sure that the container you are bringing them in is plastic. They do not allow any glass containers of any kind on the psyche ward or in any of the rooms. The vase or container will be confiscated. Since there are no vases provided for patients on the ward it is a good idea to have the fore thought to bring some sort of container to hold the flowers in for the person you are visiting. I also suggest that when ordering flowers for a patient from a florist (it is a good idea to spread the word to any other relatives or friends who may also wish to send floral arrangements) you should stress that the arrangement be made up in a plastic container. When choosing your flowers consider low maintenance blooms with very little fragrance to them. Hospital rooms have very poor ventilation (air circulation) and you typically cannot open the windows to let in fresh air. So, if the flowers have a strong scent to them it can become overpowering to the patient, not to mention their roommates (there may be some patients who suffer asthma or allergies that share the room with your friend/family member), and your friend/family member may end up having to throw them away rather than enjoying them.

· Do not bring large amounts of cash. The patient does not have a secure place to store it in their room and there is a large risk it will be stolen. The patient can leave the money in lock-up at the nurse’s station, but there is really no point to having large amounts of cash on hand. There is no necessity for it and the only place to spend it would be in the hospital store or in the vending machines in the lobby.

· Bringing in food for a patient is a great idea. When bringing food in you have to remember a few things. One, do not bring in metal utensils, especially knives of any kind. You can bring in plastic cutlery. Two, if you take a good look around you will see that the only dishes in use in the ward are plastic, for good reason. So, do not bring in anything other than plastic or paper dishware. No Glass or Ceramic dishware. Rubbermaid, Tupperware, etc. are all fine. Three, if you bring in food that is more that one serving make sure it is in a resealable container that can be stored easily in a drawer or cupboard. Do not bring it in a Ziploc bag or any other small resealable storage bag. Plastic bags are strongly discouraged on the psyche ward. Four, non-perishables are allowed in rooms. But, perishables must be stored in a common fridge. (It is situated in a common area and holds snack foods for the whole population of the ward. Anyone and everyone can go into it and does, some people respect other peoples’ property, others don’t.) The food is usually labeled with the patient’s name, but there is no guarantee that it will be there when they come back for it. So, it is best to only bring single servings of perishables and enjoy them with the patient at the time you are visiting them. Five, before you go to all the trouble of getting your care package together make sure the patient is not on a restricted diet of any kind. For example, sometimes before certain treatments a patient must fast and would then be unable to enjoy, lets say, an impromptu Chinese dinner. Six, Please remember that the hospital provides adequate meals for the patient. You do not have to bring in large amounts of food to feed the patient.

· Bringing in pictures of friends and family all posing with big smiles and waving at the camera is a fantastic way to raise the spirits of an emotionally ailing patient. They can treasure their photos even after you leave and look at them often to remind them of all the people who love them and want them to get well, not to mention come home. I encourage you to bring lots of photos of family and don’t forget the family pets as well (this may be the only contact a patient may have with a beloved pet). But, here are a few things you may want to watch out for. There will undoubtedly be other patients that will see these photos, there are lots of different personalities admitted to psyche wards, some are perfectly harmless and some have deeper issues. So, you want to protect the patient and yourself. Make sure the photography does not contain any obvious personal information, such as street signs, distinctive geographical features or full frontal shots of the family home with the street numbers showing, license plates on cars, or very lavish displays of wealth. Another subject matter to avoid in photographic material is adults or children in partly dressed or suggestive poses.

· Mail is good if it is non-threatening. It is not good if it is of a negative nature. Bills, collection notices, letters from people you know are nasty, and the like, are not good correspondence to bring to someone who is convalescing in a psyche ward. You can forward these types of correspondence on to the persons appointed to deal with these issues on the patient’s behalf or deal with them yourself. Only bring these materials if it is absolutely necessary. But, do not avail the person in hospital, they need to depend on the people around them to take care of these issues so they can concentrate only on getting better.

· Do not bring work-related materials to the psyche ward. A patient admitted to a psyche ward is there because they are unable to properly deal with their world outside the hospital, why, in that case, would they be able to handle it any better inside it as well. They are in hospital to reduce stress levels and anxiety, remember this when contemplating bringing up any subjects concerning their job or work-related issues.

· Do not bring candles. You can bring in birthday candles on a cake but they must be taken with you when you leave. You will probably have to celebrate with the cake in the public kitchen/area of the ward since matches and lighters are strictly forbidden in the rooms.

· Do not bring in alcohol or any form of drug, even cough syrup or aspirin is not allowed.

· Give the patient some sort of gift that occupies their time, makes them do something with their hands and mind, and gets them to create. Working with one’s hands can be extremely therapeutic in nature.

* Do not bring wire coat hangers to the ward.

What To Bring

Magazines

Flowers/Floral Arrangements

Candies- A lot of anti-depressant medications give a person dry mouth and a craving for sweets, sometimes hard candies and gum can really help with those side effects. You could put together a small gift bag/basket of the person’s favorite treats or go to a specialty chocolate store and hand pick a special assortment box especially for them. There are stores that sell candied popcorn in small buckets which have resealable lids, just perfect for a patient to stash away for cravings. I know a lot of patients who chewed gum around the clock, it was a mainstay in the ward. Find out what the person likes and indulge them.

Newspapers- Sometimes when a person is stuck in a psyche ward for a long time they feel claustrophobic, almost like they are a fish caught in a fish bowl. If they are on the mend and feeling up to it a newspaper may give them the feeling of being a part of something beyond the walls of the ward. This allows them to begin to relate to the outside world without having to leave the security of the ward itself. Mind you, it may not be the best idea to bring a newspaper to a patient who is still susceptible to suffering a devastating reaction to world news and events. Newspapers tend to contain bad news, if this may be stressful for the person to learn of, don’t expose them to it.

Baked Goodies From Home- Cookies, Banana Loaf, Squares, Chocolate Cake, Rice Crispie Squares, and the list goes on. Baked goods from home are a great way to say how much you care and bring some of the comfort of home to a patient on the ward.

Cards- These are always appreciated and great to receive. Most patients proudly display their collection on their dressers/bedside tables. It is a wonderful way to leave behind a bit of sentiment and a lasting reminder to the ailing person that you are thinking of them.

Letters, Drawings, Art Projects From Kids (Sons, Daughters, Grandchildren, Nieces, Nephews, Godchildren)- These have a magical quality to them. They seem imbued with an energy and life that says to the recipient “you are special to me”. One really feels loved when one receives a lovely token of affection from a beloved child in one’s life. If affects a person on so many levels. If someone is seriously depressed these gifts can remind them of who and exactly which relationships in their lives they are striving to get better for. If a person is on the mend it can raise their spirits and make them look forward to when they can be reunited with the child they have the special connection with. Never shield a patient from the love of a child in their life, they must know how much they are loved and wanted.

Photos From Home- Make sure the patient has ample visual reminders of the people who care for them in their lives. Take lots of snap shots of their family members/friends blowing kisses, smiling, waving, doing goofy things, holding up signs that read “we love you mom” or “we miss you” or “get well soon”. Make sure you also bring photos of special events that the patient is unable to attend because of hospitalization. It is important that the patient doesn’t feel like they haven’t fallen off the face of the Earth, they must still feel included somehow in their familial/social circles. Photos of the family pet are also important, don’t forget that the patient might truly miss their precious furry friend. You could put together an album/scrapbook of pictures and sentiments especially for the patient that they could keep in their room with all the people in their lives included in it.

Word Puzzle Books, Crossword Books, Word Find Books
Cigarettes- If the patient is a smoker this is a great idea to bring in for them. Find out what brand they smoke and bring them an extra pack. If you are feeling truly generous give them a carton. Cigarettes are always at a premium on a psyche ward, there are always people bumming off of people. When you run out you are basically up a creek until someone can bring some in for you because patients typically can’t just leave the ward to pop out and get a pack. And, the hospital store doesn’t sell cigarettes. Even if you are allowed to go for short exertions off the ward, most hospitals I have stayed in are not close to convenience stores either.

Books- Find out what type of genre of literature the patient is interested in (or their favorite author) and bring them a few second hand or paperback books. Or, go to the library and sign some books out on the patient’s behalf, then when they are due go to the hospital, collect them and return the books for them.

Sentimental Items- These items could be anything that would bring comfort to the patient. A sentimental item could be something like their old teddy bear or a framed picture of two best friends. (Just remember to take the glass out of the picture frame.) Stuffed animals are the typical sentimental items found in hospital rooms. I would encourage anyone to bring gifts with sentimental value, especially to a depressed patient, because it touches them deeply and makes them feel valued. They can call upon that feeling of being valued by someone later when they are alone and feeling vulnerable, in fact they will be reminded every time they look at your gift.

Non-Perishables- Foods that do not need refrigeration can be brought in for the patient and they can store them in their rooms. Foods like potato chips, fruit, Oreo cookies, popcorn twists, nacho chips, pretzels, cans of cola or pop (no glass bottles), tea, powdered hot chocolate, specialty powdered coffees, cup of noodle, crackers, raisins, favorite cereal in those small boxes, granola bars, etc. Just don’t bring a large amount of these items. Remember the person only has a small space to store these goodies.

Comforter/Blanket/Pillow- Hospital beds are really uncomfortable and unwelcoming. They have hospital issue sheets and thin blankets that don’t seem to bring much warmth no matter how many you stack on top of you. The pillows are covered with a rubber casing that crinkles with every movement of your head. One of the greatest luxuries a person can have in hospital is having one’s own bedding to sleep in. The first thing I learnt when I was in hospital for the first time was to have someone bring a comforter and pillow from home. It is the one of the kindest things to do for a patient, especially if they are going to be there for an extended period. Hospitals are cold places. If you want you could bring a throw blanket for them that they could use to cuddle up with when they sit in their room or elsewhere in the ward.

Slippers- These are provided by the hospital but they are usually poor quality and sometimes paper or foam plastic. A nice pair of cozy slippers would be of great value to a patient on a psyche ward. You see, a patient on a psyche ward wears slippers everywhere they go because they never leave the hospital. They usually never need to go outside, unless they smoke and even then some of the patients wear their slippers.

Pajamas- A comfortable pair of pajamas, whether from home or brand new, is always welcome when you are in hospital. The hospital does issue pajamas to it’s patients, but having your own is much better. You could really make a patient feel special if you brought them a brand new pair of comfy pajamas to lounge in.

Music Tapes- A lot of patients have their own walkmans (CD players, MP3’s), I have even seen some have portable stereos/radios in their rooms. These are battery operated, without cords. (This brings up another good idea, bring a bunch of batteries for the walkman or stereo, find out which type of music player they have and what kind of batteries they need for it.) If you wanted you could find out what type of music the patient likes and create a mixed tape of all their favorite musicians. Or, you could bring in a new released album of a musician they really like that they haven’t had the opportunity to listen to yet. There are lots of second hand music stores where you can buy good quality music tapes and CD’s without spending a fortune. You may be able to pick up a couple of albums for the price you would have spent on just one. Music is a great distraction from racing and troubling thoughts that can plague a person when they are down. It can be soothing, not to mention sentimental and meaningful.

Body Soaps, Moisturizers, Hair Care Products- These products can come in handy when a person is in a psyche ward because the hospital environment can be a very dry environment. Besides, it makes the person feel special and pampered when they have a little something extra nice to slather on their skin. The hospital supplies their patients with an all-in-one body soap, but it is an institutional brand and is quite drying (doesn’t make one smell all sweet and fragrant either).

Audio Books- Sometimes patients lose the ability to concentrate causing them to have difficulty reading and retaining what they have read. Audio books can help them to enjoy a book they may wish to read, instead of having to flog through it, they can leisurely listen to it at their own pace. You can pick up these books at the local library or at any big name book stores.

Videos- Videos are terrific. Most wards have a VCR available to the patients in the common television area of the ward. A great way to entertain a patient for a particular evening. Bring in a rented video and sit and watch it with them. You will probably have to watch it with the whole population of the ward joining you, but it will still be entertaining to say the least. You could also bring in family videos that you have made especially for the patient to see. Record the family talking to the patient, wishing the patient well, and make sure you get the family pet in the video too. Just remember the rules of photography because there will be other patients watching.

Fast Food Or A Meal From Their Favorite Restaurant Or A Homemade Meal- This is always a big treat. The hospital food a patient receives each day leaves a lot to be desired so when they can look forward to a meal brought in from the outside it is always a big event. One thing to remember when bringing in a meal, make sure you phone ahead and notify the patient of your plans so they can cancel their meal. It is proper etiquette to notify the nursing staff that the patient won’t be taking their meal and also you want to make sure the patient doesn’t eat before you bring the food. This is always a perfect way to let a patient know how special they are, because it takes a concerted effort to bring a meal to the hospital. You can enjoy the meal with them in their hospital room (some hospitals may discourage eating in rooms), or if it is a beautiful summer day, you could go for a picnic on the lawn outside the hospital.

Journal- A beautiful journal with pretty paper pages that the patient can write their thoughts in can be a nice gift. It doesn’t have to be too fancy, just a book with blank pages in it to draw in or scribble down ideas is fine. Patients often get worksheets from the different therapy sessions they attend while in hospital. A journal can be a great place to store all of these papers along with the notes they may take down during these sessions.

Stationary- Some patients may live far away from the actual hospital in which they are staying in. They may wish to correspond with friends and family. In some hospitals a patient can drop off mail at the nurse’s desk and they will mail it for them. Stationary is a very nice gift because hospital stationary (if it is supplied) is cold and sometimes embarrassing for the patient to use. A pretty box of stationary is useful and gives the patient a little bit of dignity as well.

Ice Cream- This is always a big hit. I always enjoyed it when my dad would come to visit me and he would bring a small container of gourmet ice cream for us to share. We would huddle together in my room like a couple of bandits and giggle as we shoved spoonful after wicked spoonful into our mouths. Don’t bring a huge container, just a small one, big enough for a treacherous night of indulgence between you and the patient. Make sure you both have a really good time slopping it into your mouths while it melts all over. Cheers!

Hand Held Computer Game- If the patient in question is a computer game nut why not bring him/her a hand held computer game (Don’t forget the batteries!). Make sure they have a couple of different game cartridges as well so they have a bit of a selection. It will give them something to do during the day and help beat the monotony of the psyche ward.

Coloring Poster With Felt Markers- You would not believe the therapeutic powers of coloring, it is astounding. There are large size posters with intricate designs that you can color in and they come with felt markers. They are not like coloring books (although coloring books are good too). The designs are very sophisticated and intensive to color. It takes no amount of concentration or great intelligence to enjoy, and so this is the most non-threatening activity you could give to a psyche patient.

Paint-by-Numbers Set- This runs on the same theory as the coloring poster.

Origami Paper Craft Kit- This is a terrific idea because it forces the patient to think outside of the box, use their hands, and be creative. They can make something that doesn’t require glue, scissors, or any other craft supplies. Origami is also instant gratification; they don’t have to wait for paint to dry or clay to bake. People suffering with emotional turbulence don’t have the emotional fortitude to involve themselves in long drawn out exercises.

Bead Jewelry Kit- A simple bead jewelry kit can be fun. The patient can not only make jewelry, but wear it also. They can give it away to their friends on the ward or other people who visit. Just make sure you have cleared all the supplies in the kit with the nurses before you bring it on the floor.

A New Outfit- If you are a husband or boyfriend of a patient who has a pass to go out for the evening with you this is a very extravagant idea. Make the evening a date and take her out to a restaurant with her new outfit. Only do this if the patient is well enough to handle going out in public. It will feel so special and magical compared to being in hospital clothes all the time.

Mittens, Scarf, Hat, Earmuffs- If the patient doesn’t have the proper winter attire for the outdoors, especially if they smoke, these gifts are always welcome. Standing outside puffing on a cigarette is much more enjoyable if you aren’t freezing your hands off (or any other part of your body, for that matter).

Hand/Foot Prints- Now a days you can buy kits where you can make a hand or foot print of your children or pets in a small bit of plaster (A frame usually comes with the kit.). They can be framed and brought to the hospital for the patient to display on their bedside table. It is a wonderful reminder of their loved one, they can touch it and look at it, and it is so very tangible. And, sometimes when a person is depressed and alone in the hospital they need that sort of comfort.