My Mental Trampoline

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Home | About Me | Twisting and Turning | The Struggle Within Me | Just A Thought | Bi-polar Blood Donations | Instability Will | Six Questions That Might Save Your Life | Are You Sick Enough To Consider Hospitalization | A Trip To The Hospital - How To Find A Safe Place | A Trip To The Hospital - Admitting Yourself | A Trip To the Hospital - What To Pack | A Trip to The Hospital - Part One | A Trip to the Hospital - Through the Hassle Castle Doors | A Trip to the Hospital - Perceptions of Hospitalization | Patient's Rights In Hospital | How To Deal With Frightening or Disturbing Patients | Romance on the Ward | What To Bring A Friend/Family Member In A Psyche Ward | The Return- Coming Home from the Hospital | Illness Journaling | Medications Chart | The Social Safety Net | Social Safety Net Chart | Your Mental Health Care Providers | Health Care Ladder | Introductions to Symptoms | Symptoms of a Depressive Episode | Symptoms of a Manic Episode | The Swinging of the Pendulum | The Other Half - Spouses of Bi-polar Sufferers | Fostering Friendships with Those Living with Mental Illness | Addictions and Mental Illness | On A Scale From One To Ten | Pet Therapy | Vertical Striving Versus Horizontal Striving | Holiday Horrors | Slicing or Other Self-Abusive Behavior | Panic Attacks | Do Not Hate Me Because I am Bipolar | Children With Bipolar Disorder | Videos on Mood Disorders and Mental Health | Support Groups, Organizations and Associations | Successful People | Guest Questionnaire | My Favourite Links | Recommended Reading Material | Medical Articles/News Items | My Mental Trampoline 25 Beautiful People 2008 | Guest Map | Add Your Story | Caroline's Story | Tell A Friend | Disclosure and Privacy Policy | Webrings | Contact Me

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Hello.  My web name is Tash.  This is my web site about Bipolar disorder, or as it is more commonly known , Manic Depression. You will find throughout this web site the aforementioned disorder's labels.  Bipolar disorder and Manic Depression will be interchangeable as if they are one and the same.  Some will argue with that, saying Manic Depression is an old antiquated label that carries with it reams of stigmas and old wives tales.   However, this is the most widely recognized name for this disorder.  And so, it will be used from time to time in order for my reader's to understand the mental illness I am discussing.

I am a fellow sufferer of Manic Depression.  I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder when I was twenty-five.  I believe, however, that I have suffered the ill effects of this disease since I was thirteen years old.  Sadly, I had to suffer in silence for over ten years before someone would diagnose my illness.  I am amazed even today that I survived those tumultuous years of ups, downs and sideways.  

Regardless of how frenzied my behaviour became, rising to absolutely ludicrous heights and dropping to unnatural lows, I was denied a legitimate diagnosis with which I could have found some relief.  I attempted suicide more than a dozen times in that span of ten years; some I reported to doctors and some I kept to myself.  I was treading water in the deepest end of the cerebral ocean of emotions that can be the soul and I was running out of the will to keep paddling.  I was almost to tired to really care.

I was told repeatedly by health care professionals that the psychiatric profession did not like to diagnose these disorders before a patient was twenty-five.  I would sit there dumbfounded and wonder how many people have had to struggle with this unforgiving illness before they were deemed eligible for a diagnosis?  I would wonder how many suicides would be prevented if people were allowed to find treatment sooner rather than later?  I know how many times my demons drove me to the brink of life and death before my lithium took those thoughts and urges away.

You see, a diagnosis is an important thing.  Diagnosis means medications and medications mean the ability to function on a daily basis on a relatively even keel.  It can mean the difference between life and death.  It did to me.  My life changed when I received my diagnosis and when I discovered the name of that demon that haunted my mind.  I then knew what I could do to fight back and fight back I did!

Now that I have been able to identify my illness and it's control over me, I have been able to understand it better and learn more about myself.  It has been a long and painful road to this new self-awareness, but it has been necessary for my mental health.  I am now able to recognize my symptoms and anticipate an emotional crisis before it can become extremely dangerous to my personal well-being.

I now am a relatively content housewife with one beautiful child and a loving husband.  I live in a normal house in a normal city and lead a relatively normal life.  These are things that I never believed were mine to have.  I felt unworthy of such contentedness.  

I believe many bipolar sufferers feel the same feelings.  I want these people to see their future not as cursed but as teeming with possibilities.  They too can work towards a path to personal emotional well-being.  

My Favourites
 
Here's a list of some of my favorite movies:

Delicatessen directed by Marc Caro and Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Blade Runner directed by Ridley Scott
Sense and Sensibility directed by Ang Lee
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon directed by Ang Lee
Room With A View directed by James Ivory
......anything directed by Terry Gilliam

Here's a list of some of my favorite music:

The Band
The Violent Femmes
Tom Waits
The White Stripes
The Sex Pistols
The Cure
Neil Young
Bob Dylan
Janis Joplin
The Clash
The Smiths
Red Hot Chilli Peppers
The Pogues
 
 
Here's a list of some of my favourite books:
 
The Gormenghast Trilogy by Mervyn Peake
Mother Courage and Her Children (Play) by Bertolt Brecht
Caucasian Chalk Circle (Play) by Bertolt Brecht
Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay
Doomsday Book by Connie Willis
The Mummy Congress by Heather Pringle
 
 


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The information provided by this web site is primarily based on TattyLou's own opinions and conclusions.  TattyLou is not a health care professional and does not wish to be confused as one.

This website contains information on bipolar disorder, manic depression, anxiety, depression, mental disorders, emotional disorders,  panic attacks, panic disorders, living with mental illness, pets, spouses of bipolar patients, partners of bipolar patients, cutting or slicing, self harm, self abuse, hurting self, self admit, self admit to hospital, suicidal tendencies, health care, health care ladder, hospitalizations, what to take to hospital, social safety net, illness journaling, medication chart, medications, bipolar disorder symptoms, manic symptoms,  depressive symptoms, anxiety symptoms, scary patients, frightening patients, disturbed patients, how to deal with scary patients, patient advocacy, guest stories, Chat room, Chat,  forum, mental health forum, mental health message board, bipolar forum, bipolar message board, message board, anxiety forum, anxiety message board, panic disorder forum, panic disorder message board, Instability Will, child profile, mental health videos, videos, caregivers, caregiver descriptions. 

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All Rights Reserved

My Mental Trampoline - Manitoba, Canada